Wow, time can pass by like it's nobody's business. It has incredibly been nearly a full year since my last blog post. The world is a noticeably different place, but not quite doomsday (yet). The internet is still functional, the lights are still on, and consistent profitability is still as elusive as ever. I have made countless observations about the nature of the markets, behavioral finance, and the place traders fill in this 3rd rock from the sun, but I haven't really done a frank check-in on the state of my trading. One reason I have been so quiet is that I have been focusing mostly on trading itself. A big purpose of this blog was not just to pour out my thoughts, but to use this form of expression as a way for me to improve as a trader. By wrapping my head around things, I was to inch closer to profitability while maintaining a full-time job as an engineer. But what I have found is that consistent profitability is one elusive beast.
I have seen tremendous success with prop firms, but then paid huge fees in the process. The psychological battle of going through losing streaks or dry spells often led down dark paths, making me revenge trade and spend more money on eval accounts than I care to admit. But the lessons learned from the hundreds of iterations of trading through these firms (or "reps" that I was able to put in) provided invaluable lessons and probably accelerated my progress in ways that all the years of my trading didn't quite provide. I spent many years dabbling in various markets, testing various strategies (a glorified way of stating that I sometimes did random sh* or gambled away my hard-earned money), and had to constantly find ways of funding new accounts. So a younger me would have really loved this new world of prop firms, but I can't diminish the experiences prior to them as well. Losing substantial sums of your own money does sit differently and probably instill lessons whose worth will only be visible later on down the road.
In parallel, I underwent two very fruitful periods of options trading over the past year. The second and more substantial period was in October-December 2025, but I sadly couldn't contain my sheer excitement of what appeared to be a break-out in my performance. In spite of knowing in my heart and telling friends that I needed a 2-week break in December for the holidays, I was itching to trade, and gave away 90% of my profits in just a few trades. So the same amateur starry-eyed calculations that we'd do when we first started trading (you know, the excel spreadsheets that told us we'd all be millionaires in 6 months) returned. So in spite of having demonstrated a clear edge in both my futures and options trading, my temperament or patience has been my downfall and delayed my true break-out to financial freedom.
So why am I airing out this info in this virtual therapy session? Well, I feel like "this time is different". It's different in that my mindset has slowly shifted from eager and hungry to observational and satisfied. I feel satisfied at the thought that I have attained skills and insights that can actually allow me to make a living out of this field, and less action-oriented (and instead more observational) since I see how asymmetric gains (and losses) can be. It's all about capturing the right opportunities when they present themselves, not going 100 mph on the freeway once you smell success. This shift in my mindset is what will humbly allow me to move forward in life with less financial strain, more ability to help others, and a balance that I have rarely felt since late college (before life took over). I anticipate (with a hidden smile) that my next blog post will be about my successes. There are already good signs. With a new employer that allows for a self-directed brokerage option in my 401k, I am already up 11% for the year (22% in my actual trading account). And note that this is two months into the year. This tracks my previous posts about how we retail traders can easily outperform the market, and I hope to demonstrate the truth of this blog with my own reality instead of being a flash-in-the-pan trader as I have found myself to be in the past:
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